Audio or music related anecdotes, jokes, cartoons... anyone? [2018]

What’s the difference between a 15 inch pizza and a musician?

The pizza can feed a family of four.

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Q: What’s the difference between an orchestra and a freight train?

A: A freight train needs a conductor!

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Q: How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twelve. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it better.

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studio

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Stradivarius

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I went up into the attic and found a Stradivarius and a Rembrandt.

Unfortunately

Stradivarius was a terrible painter and Rembrandt made lousy violins.

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These are just great. The author, Steve Howard, is one of the UK’s leading sax and clarinet techs and quite literally wrote the Haynes manuals for maintaining these instruments!

http://www.shwoodwind.co.uk/Notes/jazz_etiquette_solos.htm
http://www.shwoodwind.co.uk/Notes/jazz_etiquette_dress.htm
http://www.shwoodwind.co.uk/Notes/jazz_etiquette_listeners.htm
http://www.shwoodwind.co.uk/Notes/jazz_etiquette_admin.htm

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Q: How does a jazz musician end up with 1 million dollars?

A: By starting with 2 million dollars.

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Bass

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Saw this in Dublin a couple of weeks ago…:grinning:
buskers

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In Dublin? That comes as quite a surprise! In Dublin, there’re buskers EVERYWHERE — and many very good ones, too!

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Q: What do you call a jazzman without a girlfriend?

A: Homeless!

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