Child: Mom, when I grow up I’d like to be a rock musician.
Mother: Well honey, you know you can’t do both.
An audiophile was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess”.
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The audiophile took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want.” Again the audiophile took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”
The audiophile said, “Look I’m an audiophile. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s pretty cool.”
“Love thy neighbour”? Not always an easy thing to do…
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, “Ah, yes, that’s Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, being played backwards.”
He listened a while longer, and said, “There’s the Eighth Symphony, and it’s backwards, too. Most puzzling.” So the magistrate kept listening; “There’s the Seventh… the Sixth… the Fifth…”
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, “My fellow citizens, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just Beethoven decomposing.”
She is back…
Q: How come Mozart couldn’t find his teacher?
A: He was Haydn!
(BTW, it’s actually true that Mozart regarded Hadyn as a kind of mentor…)
A string trio dies in a car crash and goes to heaven.
St. Peter asks them all, ‘What did you do with your life?’
The cellist says, ‘I taught people the beauty of music,’ and is allowed to enter.
The violist says, ‘I taught people the joy of music,’ and is allowed to enter.
The violinist says, ‘I was a concertmaster and I believe you’re in my seat.’
Definition of "music"
“Music” is a complex organizations of sounds in time that is set down by the composer, incorrectly interpreted by the conductor, who is ignored by the musicians, the result of which is ignored by the audience.
Why can’t a drummer tell a joke timing.