My wife has always shared or initiated my new hobbies. She has built amplifiers, modified motorcycles and cars, and encourages all of my squandering of our monies. She loves music, gadgets and gear and works on her own computers.
I have learned not to say “is this not cool?” pointing at an absurdly priced audio gear since she will respond with a simple “get it.” If my interests were meth…
In either case, it is a symbiosis that works. Since it is how things are, I am uncertain how I would feel about bargaining for decor or reciprocity of purchases.
So far, she’s a keeper. I only hope she sticks with her education long enough to complete high school.
Sounds like you have the ideal situation/relationship. By contrast, I just played a new release on Qobuz which I liked. My wife did not. Only choice is for us now is to contact our respective attorneys. It was fun while it lasted.
When my wife comes home, before she says “hello” she says “headphones please.” That’s why I bought a nice, but used, Meridian Prime Headphone Amplifier and Power Supply and Dan Clark (MrSpeakers) AEON headphones.
If I go out to check the mail, we consider it a legal separation. More seriously, we like the same music but because of the age difference, most of what she loves came from my exposing her to it. Awhile back, I played a song, and she told me that she had always loved it. The reality is that this was the first time she had ever heard it except for me singing it.
Much of what my kids love in music came from my exposing them to it when they were little, and then all studied music in childhood. This was also my experience as a child. My father was always building something, playing jazz, repairing something…and by 10, I was interested in Heathkit and Lafayette going to the symphony etc.
It was only logical that I would want a mate that also shared those interests.
BTW, I do not own headphones, likely would enjoy them. (I do own mint Koss Pro-4a but have not listened to them).
My wife is involved in all hifi gear purchase decisions as much as I am. She’s not interested in the research etc. but is an honest sounding board for proposed purchases. She enjoys the music I play through the speakers (no headphones for me) but isn’t interested in operating the gear. She only ever listens to the radio if she wants music. If she doesn’t think my logic for a purchase is sound, she says so and she’s generally right on reflection. This is wonderful as I get to do more research hahaha! Isn’t this hobby great?
This topic is consistent with the gun community, car community, photography community, guitar community and anywhere the discretionary spending can be high.
If financial position imposes no limits, then there is no sacrifice, but when sharing a financial concern or definable limits, then one or both parties are likely to weigh in on what they feel is frivolous. This is emphasized when the return on the dollar seems low. A $10k cartridge is not expensive but for those on fixed income, it can be budget breaking. In the car community, the conflicting side says “why do you need to go faster” or in the gun community “you are shooting away 35 cents a round…to what end?” and in the guitar community, “how can you use another guitar, you already have so many”.
In summary, it is the comfort one has with the similarity or difference in values and demands of one or both parties.
Income allows a potential flexibility whereas coping with financial limitations sets boundaries. Inflexibility builds fences. Thus, financial position is a partial factor for some. Differences in interest areas may be the main determinate.
