How I got Roon working over OpenVPN (hard for me, easy for you)

Hi-

So, I’m not really a networking guy. Nor an engineer. I’m stubborn, however, and often manage to make things work after breaking them. But I’ve never set up a site-to-site VPN. I need a bit of advice / navigation to kick off in the right direction.

If I have two home networks with full Unifi networks (one is UDM Pro, other is USG3), both on cable modems (one is Cox, other is Xfinity), but nothing special - no VLANs, no VPNs, no DDNS, a couple of port-forwards, thread detection, etc, I need a basic “these are the elements you need to work on” so I can go beat my head against them until they work, and I can just have my one home core, and I can play to endpoints at the other home.

I have lots of questions:

  • Do I need to set up DDNS? On both sites? Is there a preferred way to do this?
  • Which flavor of site-to-site VPN should I try to set up? OpenVPN or IPSec (which are natively supported) or do I need to try to set up Tailscale or Wireguard or something else? If all I’m trying to do is access my core from remotes at my second home, and play to remotes at my second home, is there a reason to pick one or another?
  • Do I need to set up pfsense? Not sure I understand why need another router given I have Unifi playing that role, nor where I set it up.
  • Do I need to set up @Aaron_Turner 's UPD Proxy 2020 if I’m going Unifi site-to-site? If so, is there a set of instructions somewhere on how to do that on unifi USGs for near-idiots like me? I’ve tried to read the thread a few times.
  • What security aspects do I need to worry about more once I have the two networks connected (I’m not particularly worried that if someone gets into one home they’re in the other one - if malware “gets” me, I’m not more vulnerable if they “get me in both places”, and my second home doesn’t have a lot of infrastructure)?

Honestly, I was trying to achieve this with a 2-core solution for a while, but no luck - and just got this note from Brian, so I’m getting down to the real work, and realizing that I may or may not be up to it without some real help. So thanks to anyone and everyone in advance.

Also, I may totally have missed this exact situation “dummies guide” being posted somewhere. I tried, I honestly tried, to read this thread and @Aaron_Turner 's other thread. And yes, I’ll admit it, I got lost. I often “just try stuff” from Stack Overflow. But I just didn’t know where to start on this one. So thanks.